Eric Burton / Strange encounters of a third kind.

One of the tasks set for ‘homework” was to undertake an urban solo. This involves the individual finding a suitable place to sit for a designated period of time, not communicate with anyone and watch what is happening around the chosen area. The area I chose was the fountain in the outlet at Livingston which is the major art focus for the location and one where many individual gather to admire or meet. Over the 90 minute period a variety of people came and went and it was three consecutive separate incidents that brought me great interest.

An elderly papa came to the fountain cradling his young grandbaby in his arms and trying to soothe the cries that were coming from the baby making a demanding noise for the grandfather and one which made him feel uncomfortable. An elderly lady sitting on one the adjacent  benches came to his rescue and began to talk to the baby and play with the small fingers that were reaching out…the cries began to fade, the baby was still and very quickly the papa was off …probably to handover his  young charge to the mum. Interesting that the male found it difficult to make a response and the female naturally responded to the cries and consoled the baby…the natural mothering instinct in action.

The elderly lady returned back to her seat and softly placed her head on her husbands shoulder seeking some comfort and love….The bald headed husband, overweight, arms crossed resting on his stomach ignore the gesture and stared into the fountain and the cascading water…..offering no response to this gesture of love. From one of the avenues a friend and family approached the couple and the husband gestured with his thumb to the wife in her resting position…she withdrew her head from his shoulder and stuffed her hands into his coat pockets and gazed straight ahead into the fountain…with her husband engaging in conversation with the other male both laughing at the wife’s action…..what a loving opportunity missed by this man. The couple arose and left with the people that had arrived  – looking at the male now it looks like he may be the son…..same shape, young children and wife following. Interesting that the males lead the way and the elderly female took the arm of the young wife….was she seeking the love that she did not get in response from the husband? Is this what happens in marriages …couple give up trying …sensors are not switched on…love is given the brush off…little gestures are ignored…we grown further apart?

No sooner had the couple left on their journey than a middle aged lady arrived at the seat looking around her for someone, a flushed look on her face, an uncertainty on her face. Out of the corner of my eye the short middle aged man that had been standing at the fountain was making a move around the fountain. I had observed him waiting in the same position several minutes earlier and had thought he was waiting for his wife arriving back from her shopping expedition …the parked shopping husband. He made his way across to the middle aged lady introducing him self and her likewise. This was a blind date and I was witnessing the beginning unfolding ….they walked away maintaining a comfortable space between themselves and chatting away to each other. It was a touching moment for me and I had to toss a coin in the fountain just to wish them luck on their date and to a relationship in the future that would bring them both love and happiness.

Relationships are at the core of human interaction and within a relatively short observation period I saw the good and bad being shown by men …..why do males have problems showing their softer side ..the loving side…is it as males get older they lose the feeling or they become receivers rather than givers…what is the answer? There is a strong message in this for me and a touchstone that I should hold on to for the future….show love, give love and receive love….with sincere gratitude.